Boundaries In A Christian Marriage
By establishing certain boundaries in a Christian marriage, couples can avoid misconceptions that often lead to marital mayhem. While non-Christians, especially celebrities, prefer being governed by prenuptial and post nuptial agreements, believers are governed by a different set of rules: the Holy Bible. Following biblical guidelines for holy matrimony will likely to lead to lasting fulfillment. Engaged couples must realize that as they become one, life as a single ends; and both must learn how to walk together in agreement with mutual respect and accountability. Marriage is a covenant partnership whereby each spouse agrees to uphold certain principles to help make the union a lasting one. Setting guidelines early enables partners to successfully fulfill that covenant.
The best time to discuss boundaries in a Christian marriage is prior to scheduling premarital counseling with the pastor who will perform the ceremony. Potential partners should set aside time to candidly talk about what each party wants and expects from the relationship. Certain expectations will naturally come as a result of upbringing. Men and women tend to emulate their parents; and those who grew up with negative experiences will likely pattern them. The husband-to-be who witnessed his dad drinking and carousing on weekends with the guys will perceive this behavior as acceptable. But is it? Similarly, a young lady with a domineering mother who kept a tight hold on the family purse strings and her husband also has a misconception about what marriage is all about. Therefore, expectations, concepts, and misconceptions must all be dealt with prior to coming to the altar.
The best marriage manual available to man is the Bible. Several books address the role of husbands and wives; boundaries in a Christian marriage for intimacy; wisdom for managing finances; and almost any other topic relevant to today's families. Throughout the Word of God, the male is recognized as the stronger vessel and one ordained to dominate--ruling over the wife and his own household. The eleventh chapter of I Corinthians establishes boundaries in a Christian marriage for familial authority: "But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God" (I Corinthians 11:3). Thus, in the eyes of God, the husband is the chief authority in the home, and ideally, his head should be Christ. That God-given authority does not give husbands permission to exert a tyrannical rule with the wife cowering in fearful submission; but to entreat her in love as the weaker vessel. The husband whose head is Christ will allow the Holy Spirit to teach him how to be a godly man, gently leading the wife and children into a saving knowledge of Jesus. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" (Ephesians 5:25).
While some may find it difficult to accept, the Word of God also establishes boundaries in a Christian marriage for wives which require submission: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22). This scripture does not mean women have no voice or that they must dutifully follow two paces behind their husbands. But submission is easy when a wife loves her husband and trusts him to assume an authoritative role while acting supportively. In I Corinthians, Chapter 7, the Apostle Paul shares suggests boundaries in a Christian marriage pertaining to sexual intimacy. God ordained sex to be shared solely between a husband and his wife in a lifelong monogamous relationship. Couples who are willing to forsake all others and adhere to biblical principles will likely avoid the temptation to have extramarital affairs.
"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency" (I Corinthians 7:1-5).
Family finance is another area where couples should set boundaries in a Christian marriage. The Holy Bible is full of scriptures that teach believers how to manage money, particularly by giving a tenth part of one's income back to God. Many modern day Christians follow the Old Testament practice of giving a tenth or tithe: "Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:8-10). Setting boundaries in a Christian marriage that include tithing or regularly giving to the church enables many families experience financial blessings and debt freedom. Following biblical guidelines for governing the home, sexual intimacy and money management can all contribute to a long lasting marriage without the pain of disunity and divorce.
The best time to discuss boundaries in a Christian marriage is prior to scheduling premarital counseling with the pastor who will perform the ceremony. Potential partners should set aside time to candidly talk about what each party wants and expects from the relationship. Certain expectations will naturally come as a result of upbringing. Men and women tend to emulate their parents; and those who grew up with negative experiences will likely pattern them. The husband-to-be who witnessed his dad drinking and carousing on weekends with the guys will perceive this behavior as acceptable. But is it? Similarly, a young lady with a domineering mother who kept a tight hold on the family purse strings and her husband also has a misconception about what marriage is all about. Therefore, expectations, concepts, and misconceptions must all be dealt with prior to coming to the altar.
The best marriage manual available to man is the Bible. Several books address the role of husbands and wives; boundaries in a Christian marriage for intimacy; wisdom for managing finances; and almost any other topic relevant to today's families. Throughout the Word of God, the male is recognized as the stronger vessel and one ordained to dominate--ruling over the wife and his own household. The eleventh chapter of I Corinthians establishes boundaries in a Christian marriage for familial authority: "But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God" (I Corinthians 11:3). Thus, in the eyes of God, the husband is the chief authority in the home, and ideally, his head should be Christ. That God-given authority does not give husbands permission to exert a tyrannical rule with the wife cowering in fearful submission; but to entreat her in love as the weaker vessel. The husband whose head is Christ will allow the Holy Spirit to teach him how to be a godly man, gently leading the wife and children into a saving knowledge of Jesus. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" (Ephesians 5:25).
While some may find it difficult to accept, the Word of God also establishes boundaries in a Christian marriage for wives which require submission: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22). This scripture does not mean women have no voice or that they must dutifully follow two paces behind their husbands. But submission is easy when a wife loves her husband and trusts him to assume an authoritative role while acting supportively. In I Corinthians, Chapter 7, the Apostle Paul shares suggests boundaries in a Christian marriage pertaining to sexual intimacy. God ordained sex to be shared solely between a husband and his wife in a lifelong monogamous relationship. Couples who are willing to forsake all others and adhere to biblical principles will likely avoid the temptation to have extramarital affairs.
"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency" (I Corinthians 7:1-5).
Family finance is another area where couples should set boundaries in a Christian marriage. The Holy Bible is full of scriptures that teach believers how to manage money, particularly by giving a tenth part of one's income back to God. Many modern day Christians follow the Old Testament practice of giving a tenth or tithe: "Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:8-10). Setting boundaries in a Christian marriage that include tithing or regularly giving to the church enables many families experience financial blessings and debt freedom. Following biblical guidelines for governing the home, sexual intimacy and money management can all contribute to a long lasting marriage without the pain of disunity and divorce.
Boundaries In A Christian Marriage
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