Anger In A Christian Marriage
There really is no place for prolonged anger in a Christian marriage when believers learn how to apply biblical principles. Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure synonymous with wrath, rage, fury, ire or indignation. But, the Bible admonishes, "Be ye angry, but sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26). As Christian couples mature in Christ, feelings of wrath, rage or fury should dissipate and the fruit, or nature, of the Holy Spirit supersedes that of the carnal man. Notice, Ephesians 4:26 did not say believers are not to get angry because ire is part of human nature. But expressing strong displeasure should be short lived, dealt with in a Christ-like manner and forgotten, preferably before the end of the day! Anger in a Christian marriage should be avoided, as prolonged wrath can destroy marital harmony as much as an act of infidelity. Couples should refrain from going to bed upset; and each day should be viewed as a new beginning with no residue of negativity from the previous twenty-four hours.
When sustained, anger can escalate into bitterness, resentment and retaliation. But holding onto anger in a Christian marriage only gives place to satan to steal marital harmony, kill natural affection, and destroy a union from the inside out. If anyone asked either spouse what caused the rift, neither would be able to pinpoint its origin. Some husbands and wives wage cold wars and refuse to let go of wrath or hurt feelings. They live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, eat at the same dinner table, ride in the same car, and attend the same church; but within there is a silent, seething rage that hinders the couple from moving forward into marital bliss. Each spouse loves God and professes to be born again, but they forget that charity, or love, must start in Jerusalem and then spread abroad. Genuine love is suppressed as anger in a Christian marriage pervades every aspect of an otherwise happy home. Disappointment, resentment, and fury lie just beneath the surface of sanctimonious smiles and vain gestures. Some husbands and wives caught up in the downward spiral of unresolved anger keep an imaginary scoreboard of bitterness, chalking up each transgression added to a laundry list of sins not forgotten nor forgiven. Bible-believing mates can sometimes hold one another hostage over the past, preferring to cleave to a single mistake rather than cleave to each other.
Unresolved anger in a Christian marriage can turn a home from a haven to hell on earth. Unbeknownst to husbands and wives, the disharmony and disunity caused by mates who refuse to agree can destroy peace throughout a household. Over time, a spirit of discord will have children fighting amongst each other, mimicking the parents' behavior and causing the entire atmosphere to become distasteful. Lurking beneath a facade of a happy home life, a dark, sullen spirit of division prohibits reconciliation. The vicious cycle of persistent anger, bitterness, resentment and retaliation can continue for decades unless God intervenes. Children growing up in an unhappy home full of anger will likely marry and repeat that same pattern. "But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work" (James 3:14-16).
To eradicate anger in a Christian marriage, couples should first try to pinpoint the cause of prolonged wrath, and discover when the conflict first began. Was it over some major disagreement or was it a minor rift? Sitting down and reasoning together as each partner shares from the heart may start the process of ridding the marriage of resentment and re-opening lines of communication. If the origin of marital conflict eludes the couple, the best recourse is to declare old misunderstandings null and void. Husbands and wives, especially Christians, should be able to forgive, forget and "bury the hatchet!" To declare past deeds dead and gone, couples may make a list of every transgression, real or imagined. Fold the list and place it inside a small box. Seal the box and together, declare that every deed written on the list is now dead. Husbands and wives should then pray and ask God to not only remove the bitterness, but take away the remembrance of hurt feelings and heavy hearts. Next, take the little box full of secret faults and bury it in an unmarked "grave" in the backyard. With the past buried, partners can begin anew in harmony.
As anger in a Christian marriage dissipates, couples must be determined never to mention anything that has already been forgiven and buried! If a distasteful subject comes up, each spouse should be held accountable to remind one another, "Oh, that has already been buried; it is dead!" " But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace" (James 1:17-18). As husbands and wives diligently avoid anger in a Christian marriage, each day will be welcomed as a new beginning and another opportunity to love, cherish, and honor one another. By constantly practicing forgiveness, husbands and wives can hope to live a life free of marital discord in an environment which fosters peace, unity and love. Children will see an example of a loving couple who not only believe the Bible but also live it day by day. A nurturing atmosphere free from fault-finding, resentment, and retaliation can provide the foundation from which generations shall rise up and call their God-centered home blessed.
When sustained, anger can escalate into bitterness, resentment and retaliation. But holding onto anger in a Christian marriage only gives place to satan to steal marital harmony, kill natural affection, and destroy a union from the inside out. If anyone asked either spouse what caused the rift, neither would be able to pinpoint its origin. Some husbands and wives wage cold wars and refuse to let go of wrath or hurt feelings. They live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, eat at the same dinner table, ride in the same car, and attend the same church; but within there is a silent, seething rage that hinders the couple from moving forward into marital bliss. Each spouse loves God and professes to be born again, but they forget that charity, or love, must start in Jerusalem and then spread abroad. Genuine love is suppressed as anger in a Christian marriage pervades every aspect of an otherwise happy home. Disappointment, resentment, and fury lie just beneath the surface of sanctimonious smiles and vain gestures. Some husbands and wives caught up in the downward spiral of unresolved anger keep an imaginary scoreboard of bitterness, chalking up each transgression added to a laundry list of sins not forgotten nor forgiven. Bible-believing mates can sometimes hold one another hostage over the past, preferring to cleave to a single mistake rather than cleave to each other.
Unresolved anger in a Christian marriage can turn a home from a haven to hell on earth. Unbeknownst to husbands and wives, the disharmony and disunity caused by mates who refuse to agree can destroy peace throughout a household. Over time, a spirit of discord will have children fighting amongst each other, mimicking the parents' behavior and causing the entire atmosphere to become distasteful. Lurking beneath a facade of a happy home life, a dark, sullen spirit of division prohibits reconciliation. The vicious cycle of persistent anger, bitterness, resentment and retaliation can continue for decades unless God intervenes. Children growing up in an unhappy home full of anger will likely marry and repeat that same pattern. "But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work" (James 3:14-16).
To eradicate anger in a Christian marriage, couples should first try to pinpoint the cause of prolonged wrath, and discover when the conflict first began. Was it over some major disagreement or was it a minor rift? Sitting down and reasoning together as each partner shares from the heart may start the process of ridding the marriage of resentment and re-opening lines of communication. If the origin of marital conflict eludes the couple, the best recourse is to declare old misunderstandings null and void. Husbands and wives, especially Christians, should be able to forgive, forget and "bury the hatchet!" To declare past deeds dead and gone, couples may make a list of every transgression, real or imagined. Fold the list and place it inside a small box. Seal the box and together, declare that every deed written on the list is now dead. Husbands and wives should then pray and ask God to not only remove the bitterness, but take away the remembrance of hurt feelings and heavy hearts. Next, take the little box full of secret faults and bury it in an unmarked "grave" in the backyard. With the past buried, partners can begin anew in harmony.
As anger in a Christian marriage dissipates, couples must be determined never to mention anything that has already been forgiven and buried! If a distasteful subject comes up, each spouse should be held accountable to remind one another, "Oh, that has already been buried; it is dead!" " But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace" (James 1:17-18). As husbands and wives diligently avoid anger in a Christian marriage, each day will be welcomed as a new beginning and another opportunity to love, cherish, and honor one another. By constantly practicing forgiveness, husbands and wives can hope to live a life free of marital discord in an environment which fosters peace, unity and love. Children will see an example of a loving couple who not only believe the Bible but also live it day by day. A nurturing atmosphere free from fault-finding, resentment, and retaliation can provide the foundation from which generations shall rise up and call their God-centered home blessed.
Anger In A Christian Marriage
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