Family Growing Apart
Telltale signs of a family growing apart are a lack of communication, a lack of emotional bonding and interaction, and a lack of shared interests. A lack of conversation may be the first sign of a family's demise. Instead of sharing highlights of the day around an evening meal, everyone eats at different times and in different places. A working parent may grab a sandwich at the desk, putting in long hours to earn overtime pay. Adolescents and teens are so involved in school and extracurricular activities that they would rather "have it their way" at a local burger joint. Becoming overly involved in work and activities leaves the home front lacking in togetherness and lacking in common interests. The end result of a family growing apart is a society that does not reverence its fathers nor respects its mothers, and offspring that are emotionally disconnected. "There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless [the] mother. There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from ... filthiness. There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up. There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men" (Proverbs 30:11-14).
The importance of a close knit family unit cannot be overemphasized--it is the cornerstone upon which a nation and a church are built. When families are strong, they strengthen the Church as a whole. And when the Church is strong, the nation grows stronger. Studies also indicate that absentee fathers cause a myriad of socioeconomic problems in the family unit, including a higher incidence of teen pregnancy, alcoholism and drug abuse, and crime. It is apparent that the role of the family in society and in the world is a crucial one. The perpetuation of the human race depends on solid marriages that produce emotionally stable children. A family growing apart not only destroys God's original intent and purpose for mankind, but it also erodes the moral, ethical and religious foundation of a people and a nation. "Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse" (Malachi 4:5-6).
While it is normal in today's society for husbands and wives and children to live complicated lives full of scheduled events from sunup to sundown, several decades ago the landscape of the American family was a very different place. Traditionally, the man was the breadwinner of the home and left for work each day to provide for a wife and children. Being a stay-at-home mother was normal, and the traditional role of the wife was a homemaker and a nurturer. Children went to school and came home to dinner around the table with siblings and both parents present. Fast forward to the twenty-first century where both parents work, latch-key kids care for themselves before and after school, and the homestead is just a place where everybody sleeps most of the time. A family growing apart will cease to function as a cohesive unit, but will begin to exist as a disjointed, dysfunctional entity. Communication becomes a series of short phrases jotted hurriedly on sticky notes or digitized text messages.
Another sign of a family growing apart is a lack of emotional bonding and interaction. m The twenty-first century has produced a new generation of independent, self-sufficient youth that have an abundance of material possessions but a dearth of emotional nurturing. Most teens spend formative in daycare where there is no possibility of developing a strong emotional bond with a nurturing parent. By the time a working mom picks the child up daycare, there is only time for a quick meal, bath and bed before beginning the process over again the next day. When children reach adolescence, they will have grown accustomed to a fast-paced lifestyle punctuated with brief conversations and fast foods. A family growing apart may be precipitated by permissive or non-existent parenting, as mothers and fathers too busy making ends meet substitute material possessions for affection. Many of today's independent teens have their own car, cell phone, computer, a private room, and a personal life that does not necessarily include parents. Thus, there is no occasion for a high level of emotional bonding or quality parent/child interaction.
The solution for a family growing apart is to return to those old fashioned family values that sustained generations of men, women and children for hundreds of years. Children need to be nurtured and they need the consistent love and guidance that fathers and mothers can provide. If the work schedule hampers quality time with the children, perhaps moms and dads need to investigate alternative income opportunities. A stay-at-home mom or dad can save the family a considerable amount of cash and offset the cost of maintaining a two-income home. Developing a home-based business or simply opting to stay at home with under aged children will eliminate the cost of a second car and fuel, dinner at fast food restaurants, a work wardrobe, and day care or babysitting services. The bonus from ditching that second job is the opportunity to bond with little ones and be home for teens after school. A family growing apart would do well to make some scheduling adjustments to accommodate more time spent together, sharing common interests and developing into a close knit, cohesive, and impenetrable unit.
The importance of a close knit family unit cannot be overemphasized--it is the cornerstone upon which a nation and a church are built. When families are strong, they strengthen the Church as a whole. And when the Church is strong, the nation grows stronger. Studies also indicate that absentee fathers cause a myriad of socioeconomic problems in the family unit, including a higher incidence of teen pregnancy, alcoholism and drug abuse, and crime. It is apparent that the role of the family in society and in the world is a crucial one. The perpetuation of the human race depends on solid marriages that produce emotionally stable children. A family growing apart not only destroys God's original intent and purpose for mankind, but it also erodes the moral, ethical and religious foundation of a people and a nation. "Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse" (Malachi 4:5-6).
While it is normal in today's society for husbands and wives and children to live complicated lives full of scheduled events from sunup to sundown, several decades ago the landscape of the American family was a very different place. Traditionally, the man was the breadwinner of the home and left for work each day to provide for a wife and children. Being a stay-at-home mother was normal, and the traditional role of the wife was a homemaker and a nurturer. Children went to school and came home to dinner around the table with siblings and both parents present. Fast forward to the twenty-first century where both parents work, latch-key kids care for themselves before and after school, and the homestead is just a place where everybody sleeps most of the time. A family growing apart will cease to function as a cohesive unit, but will begin to exist as a disjointed, dysfunctional entity. Communication becomes a series of short phrases jotted hurriedly on sticky notes or digitized text messages.
Another sign of a family growing apart is a lack of emotional bonding and interaction. m The twenty-first century has produced a new generation of independent, self-sufficient youth that have an abundance of material possessions but a dearth of emotional nurturing. Most teens spend formative in daycare where there is no possibility of developing a strong emotional bond with a nurturing parent. By the time a working mom picks the child up daycare, there is only time for a quick meal, bath and bed before beginning the process over again the next day. When children reach adolescence, they will have grown accustomed to a fast-paced lifestyle punctuated with brief conversations and fast foods. A family growing apart may be precipitated by permissive or non-existent parenting, as mothers and fathers too busy making ends meet substitute material possessions for affection. Many of today's independent teens have their own car, cell phone, computer, a private room, and a personal life that does not necessarily include parents. Thus, there is no occasion for a high level of emotional bonding or quality parent/child interaction.
The solution for a family growing apart is to return to those old fashioned family values that sustained generations of men, women and children for hundreds of years. Children need to be nurtured and they need the consistent love and guidance that fathers and mothers can provide. If the work schedule hampers quality time with the children, perhaps moms and dads need to investigate alternative income opportunities. A stay-at-home mom or dad can save the family a considerable amount of cash and offset the cost of maintaining a two-income home. Developing a home-based business or simply opting to stay at home with under aged children will eliminate the cost of a second car and fuel, dinner at fast food restaurants, a work wardrobe, and day care or babysitting services. The bonus from ditching that second job is the opportunity to bond with little ones and be home for teens after school. A family growing apart would do well to make some scheduling adjustments to accommodate more time spent together, sharing common interests and developing into a close knit, cohesive, and impenetrable unit.
Family Growing Apart
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