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Forgiveness In Marriage

Forgiveness in Marriage requires courage, the willingness to forget, and doing so provides health benefits. Holding on to unforgiveness can rob a person of joy. Unforgiveness can lead to bitterness. Bitterness can lead to hatred, vindictiveness, and arrogance. These are sinful attitudes that can hurt one's relationship with God. They can drive loved ones away. Giving place to sinful attitudes can eventually lead to health problems. Forgiveness in marriage should be automatic and unconditional. A relationship cannot survive when a spouse makes a decision to hold unforgiveness in the heart. It is a choice that can have huge repercussions. The offended spouse may use the sin against the partner whenever there is an occasion. The first step is in making the decision to forgive. Giving up the bad feelings to the Lord and asking Him to help to soften your heart is the next step. Then talking with the offender and giving him or her opportunity to repent is the third step. "To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me" (Acts 26:18).



Expecting the offending spouse to repent might lead to disappointment. Give the situation some time and perhaps your willingness to forgive will help to soften the partner's heart. Forgiveness in marriage should be automatic and unconditional. God's forgiveness is not based upon conditions. He sent His only Son to die for every sinner so that everyone who receives Him can have the opportunity to have eternal life, a gift. If He can forgive us without any strings attached then why can't we do the same? One might say that it depends upon the wrong that has been done. Infidelity is just too painful to forgive. Well, God did not put restrictions on forgiveness when He forgave us.



When a partner chooses to harbor bad feelings towards a spouse they are hurting self more than anyone else. Bad feelings and unforgiveness takes a lot of energy. Choosing to concentrate on negative things uses brain power and can eventually lead to physical, mental, and spiritual problems. Forgiveness in marriage can set a person free. Letting go of the pain and the negativity allows love and joy to reign in one's life. After letting go of the offence remember to never bring it up again. Do not let it occupy mental space. When the temptation comes force the thoughts out of your mind and concentrate on positive thoughts. Think about all the good times with a partner and what there is to be thankful for.



The key message of the cross is forgiveness. Any Christian who can not seem to find it in his or her heart to forgive may not really understand this message. Christ tells us we should be willing to forgive someone 490 times (Matthew 18: 21-22). When one begins to understand the marvelous grace of God then how can forgiveness in marriage be difficult? Concentrating on the important things and forgetting all the small stuff will lead someone to the message of the cross. Learn to let go of all the minor hurts and errors made by others. Understand that the big issue is accepting Christ as Savior and putting God first. Beside this, nothing is really that important!



When a partner learns how to let go of the small stuff then when something big happens she will find it much easier to experience forgiveness in marriage. Sometimes there are some pretty big offenses that take place between spouses. Infidelity, lies, stealing, are difficult offenses to let go of. When trust issues take place a relationship is going to suffer. The spouse who caused the issues needs to seek God for healing. Repair of the relationship may need intervention. Counseling and going on a couple's retreat are positive ways to start the healing process. Be faithful to go to church, repent of the sins, and look to God for complete restoration. This may take time so be determined to do the right thing.



Dealing with the bad habits of a spouse can be trying at times. Communication is a tool that one can use to resolve the problems associated with irritating behavior. Becoming hard-hearted and not talking about what bothers you will only serve to hurt and maybe even destroy a relationship. Forgiveness in marriage is about working continuously to help one another. Maybe a partner does not realize how much his or her bad habits bother you. Partners really do need to keep the lines of communication flowing. There are always going to be irritations and little problems that pop up here and there. If a partner is scared to communicate because her spouse has a bad temper then that's another matter altogether.



Dealing with a spouse who is manipulative and angers easily can be a difficult situation. Some adults continue to act like children even after they're grown. They throw little fits when things do not go their way and they make the family afraid. Forgiveness in marriage is one thing but having to deal with someone who has ongoing behavior problems is something else. Certainly, you can forgive him or her but do not condone the behavior. This is unhealthy for the entire family to live in a home where there is constant strife. Ask the spouse with the behavior problems to get counseling. If that does not work then you must find a way to change the situation. Prayer, talking to a pastor, getting counseling, and finding a mediator, are all possible solutions.
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