Personality Differences That Complement
There are certain personality differences that complement and provide a balance in marriage. While husbands and wives with diametrically opposed emotional makeup can clash, some differences actually strengthen the marital bond, especially in areas of decision-making, child rearing, and finances. A good marriage requires trust, communication and balance, or influence that counteracts the effect of another. Differing yet complementary personalities enable couples to see from varying perspectives and weigh options objectively. There are always two sides to the coin and it takes each partner's astuteness to win at the game called marriage. "And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand" (Matthew 12:25). Couples with opposing personalities must strive to make those differences work and to avoid dividing the "house."
In areas of decision making, personality differences that complement may be a result of gender. Some say men are from Mars, but they are also typically analytical and only want the facts; while women tend to rely more on feelings than fact. But in decision making there is a place for both analytical and emotional thinking. A teenager may ask to use the family car for prom night; but Dad's first thought is,"How much is it going to cost in gas and will our insurance cover Junior for one night?" Mom's first reaction will be for Junior's safety. Will he be tempted to drink and drive? Who are his date's parents and would they approve of Junior driving her to the prom? By combining Dad's concern about auto insurance with Mom's concern about safety, the two of them can make a good decision about whether to allow Junior the use of the family car.
Weightier decisions like whether to buy a new house or save for college also benefit from personality differences that complement and add balance to counteract negative influences. When house hunting, wives will first consider whether the home has adequate space, ample bedrooms and bathrooms, and whether it is located near good schools. Esthetic appearance is another concern for females. Is the flooring hardwood, laminate, or carpet? Is there crown molding? Are the appliances white, stainless steel, or black? Is there a pool or game room for the kids, or a separate tub shower for soaking? Conversely, a man's main concern during the hunt for a suitable home is overall square footage, the amount of the monthly house payment, and the existence of an attached garage for his "toys." So what is the right perspective? Both! Taking advantage of personality differences that complement enables families to make the right decision for the common good. A beautiful home with all the amenities meets the wife's criteria for esthetic appeal; while obtaining a beautiful home at an affordable price satisfies the husband's.
In child rearing, personality differences that complement keeps parents from being blindsided and giving into children's sometimes irrational demands. Kids are prone to playing mom against dad, especially when it comes to getting what they want. Typical teenage behavior might include asking Mom for permission to go to a movie with full knowledge that they have been grounded by Dad for two weeks. Children who choose to "divide and conquer" parents are not ignorant about mom and dad's personality differences that complement. They will be sure to try to keep an emotional, yet discerning mother from detecting an effort to deceive an analytical dad. The way to circumvent deceptive children is for parents to communicate. Adopt a policy of checks and balances: when a child approaches one parent with a request, that parent must first check with their spouse before responding. The kids will soon realize that though Mom and Dad are different, they present a formidable and singular opponent when it comes to detecting deception. What parents are trying to achieve is balance: knowing when to be permissive and when to wield the rod of correction. In child rearing, parents must discover how to make the best use of two distinctly different behavioral and emotional traits to provide balance, discipline, love and support.
When it comes to finances, defining personality differences that complement helps to keep the household budget balanced. If the husband is a spendthrift who habitually wastes money on fancy electronics or tools he never uses; hopefully, he has a cost-conscious, penny pinching wife or they will soon go broke! An absolute financial disaster is money in the hand of two spendthrifts. But a husband and wife who cooperate and collaborate when it comes to spending money will have no problem making ends meet. The best way to take advantage of personality differences that complement in family finances is to allow the spouse with the best money management skills to take the lead. If a husband knows he cannot handle money, there is no shame in bringing home his paycheck and giving the wife control over how it is spent. A small amount of money on a debit card allows Dad a measure of control and the liberty to spend whatever he needs at the gas pump, lunch with coworkers, or just for fun. Mom can pay the bills without worrying where the money is going. Similarly, if the wife is an impulsive shopaholic, the husband should take control of the family finances. For a lasting marriage, there is no substitute for teamwork. When couples discover how individual emotional and behavioral traits --though distinctly different--work together for the good of the whole family, everyone wins!
In areas of decision making, personality differences that complement may be a result of gender. Some say men are from Mars, but they are also typically analytical and only want the facts; while women tend to rely more on feelings than fact. But in decision making there is a place for both analytical and emotional thinking. A teenager may ask to use the family car for prom night; but Dad's first thought is,"How much is it going to cost in gas and will our insurance cover Junior for one night?" Mom's first reaction will be for Junior's safety. Will he be tempted to drink and drive? Who are his date's parents and would they approve of Junior driving her to the prom? By combining Dad's concern about auto insurance with Mom's concern about safety, the two of them can make a good decision about whether to allow Junior the use of the family car.
Weightier decisions like whether to buy a new house or save for college also benefit from personality differences that complement and add balance to counteract negative influences. When house hunting, wives will first consider whether the home has adequate space, ample bedrooms and bathrooms, and whether it is located near good schools. Esthetic appearance is another concern for females. Is the flooring hardwood, laminate, or carpet? Is there crown molding? Are the appliances white, stainless steel, or black? Is there a pool or game room for the kids, or a separate tub shower for soaking? Conversely, a man's main concern during the hunt for a suitable home is overall square footage, the amount of the monthly house payment, and the existence of an attached garage for his "toys." So what is the right perspective? Both! Taking advantage of personality differences that complement enables families to make the right decision for the common good. A beautiful home with all the amenities meets the wife's criteria for esthetic appeal; while obtaining a beautiful home at an affordable price satisfies the husband's.
In child rearing, personality differences that complement keeps parents from being blindsided and giving into children's sometimes irrational demands. Kids are prone to playing mom against dad, especially when it comes to getting what they want. Typical teenage behavior might include asking Mom for permission to go to a movie with full knowledge that they have been grounded by Dad for two weeks. Children who choose to "divide and conquer" parents are not ignorant about mom and dad's personality differences that complement. They will be sure to try to keep an emotional, yet discerning mother from detecting an effort to deceive an analytical dad. The way to circumvent deceptive children is for parents to communicate. Adopt a policy of checks and balances: when a child approaches one parent with a request, that parent must first check with their spouse before responding. The kids will soon realize that though Mom and Dad are different, they present a formidable and singular opponent when it comes to detecting deception. What parents are trying to achieve is balance: knowing when to be permissive and when to wield the rod of correction. In child rearing, parents must discover how to make the best use of two distinctly different behavioral and emotional traits to provide balance, discipline, love and support.
When it comes to finances, defining personality differences that complement helps to keep the household budget balanced. If the husband is a spendthrift who habitually wastes money on fancy electronics or tools he never uses; hopefully, he has a cost-conscious, penny pinching wife or they will soon go broke! An absolute financial disaster is money in the hand of two spendthrifts. But a husband and wife who cooperate and collaborate when it comes to spending money will have no problem making ends meet. The best way to take advantage of personality differences that complement in family finances is to allow the spouse with the best money management skills to take the lead. If a husband knows he cannot handle money, there is no shame in bringing home his paycheck and giving the wife control over how it is spent. A small amount of money on a debit card allows Dad a measure of control and the liberty to spend whatever he needs at the gas pump, lunch with coworkers, or just for fun. Mom can pay the bills without worrying where the money is going. Similarly, if the wife is an impulsive shopaholic, the husband should take control of the family finances. For a lasting marriage, there is no substitute for teamwork. When couples discover how individual emotional and behavioral traits --though distinctly different--work together for the good of the whole family, everyone wins!
Personality Differences That Complement
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