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How To Communicate Effectively

As couples learn how to communicate effectively they can expect to enjoy a happy home. Next to marital intimacy, one of the most important skills husbands and wives can learn is how to carry on meaningful conversation, relay information, and respond appropriately. An inability to convey ideas or information has caused many marriages to wind up in divorce court; but marital mayhem can be avoided when the art of communication is mastered. Discovering and applying basic principles of conversation can not only improve relationships in the boardroom, but also in the bedroom. A two-way conversation requires a communicator, or speaker; and a receiver, or listener. When the communicator knows how to communicate effectively in an easily understood and concise manner, the receiver has no problem hearing, listening and responding in a positive manner. A good communicator not only uses the right tone and inflection, but in marriage, understanding how a partner will respond is also crucial if the lines of communication should remain open. Arguments can be avoided and couples can live in peace and harmony.



Meaningful conversation involves addressing one another with mutual respect; phrasing thoughts, ideas and observations in a non-threatening and non-accusatory manner; taking the time to listen before responding; and anticipating a mates response. Husbands and wives may benefit by learning how to communicate effectively, especially in the way they are addressed. Couples should entreat their mates certainly with greater respect than shown to a coworker or employer. Using endearments like honey, baby, or sweetheart, may evoke a better response than calling a loved one, stupid, idiot, or even by their first name. Endearments can smooth the rough edges of an otherwise unfavorable comment and serve to open lines of communication that might be momentarily blocked. "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger" (Proverbs 15:1).



In marital relationships, how to communicate effectively also requires being a good listener. Women and men not only need to be heard but also understood. By listening intently without interrupting, couples can avoid the pitfalls of poor marital communication. Spouses should not be quick to respond rashly or lash out emotionally without thinking of the repercussions of answering in anger. Learning to listen requires thoughtfully assessing what has been said and just as thoughtfully, phrasing a response that will not exacerbate the situation. An effective exercise for husbands and wives seeking to improve communication is to turn off the television, unplug the telephone, and sit together on the sofa. Take turns sharing innermost feelings, frustrations, and emotions. By letting each partner put into practice skills learned in how to communicate effectively, couples can grow closer in a matter of minutes. Partners should set aside quality time to commune without conflict and rekindle the romance lost through every day living. Taking long walks on the beach or spending a lazy afternoon just talking and learning to listen will work wonders on a waning marriage.



Keys to discovering how to communicate effectively also include properly phrasing thoughts, ideas, and observations to get the right response. Many wives are prone to command rather than ask husbands to do household chores. Likewise, husbands may take wives for granted and make demands without considering how dictatorial those demands may sound to her ears. Instead of telling a man to take out the trash, especially when frustration mounts; a wise wife can try asking, Honey, do you think its time to take out the trash? Asking a question rather than stating a command places the husband in a position to make a decision and offer a solution, instead of being told what to do. His reaction will probably be, Oh, sure, dear. I better take out the trash now; it looks like it is about to overflow. Whenever a decision must be made, males prefer being asked rather than told what to do. They will inevitably take a leadership role and come up with a viable solution if they are approached with the right attitude and respect.



Husbands could also benefit by using a similar tactic on how to communicate effectively with their wives. A wife is not a housekeeper, back scratcher, bed-warmer, and cook all rolled into one. The female is the weaker vessel designed by God to be entreated with love and concern. No matter how long couples have been married, no spouse should be relegated to a servant status. By entreating the female as the weaker vessel, yet on par intellectually and spiritually with the male, husbands will soon discover the woman they married is more than enough to keep the sizzle in their marriage. Here again, affectionately asking rather than telling a wife to bring a glass of water has a better outcome. The wife will hear a request rather than a demand; and using the right tone makes all the difference. "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered" (I Peter 3:7).



Putting into practice lessons learned on how to communicate effectively can make a good marriage even better. By being considerate of ones feelings, showing mutual respect, addressing one another affectionately, and by listening intently, couples can realize greater marital harmony without remorse. "Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:" (I Peter 3:8-10).
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